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Offthepost (Generation II) Forum Index -> Chit Chat

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PattyLa16
Queen of the Random Thought

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Buffalo, NY

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 3:46 am Post subject:

poutine....... well not real poutine, but fries with cheese and gravy. mmmmmmmmm _________________ Lady, people aren't chocolates. But you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.

E.L.3000
Big in Japan

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1783
Location: Fuck tha MTL police

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:18 am Post subject:

Wiser's whiskey. Cheap and effective. How's that for a company slogan? _________________ It seems like you need to be a physics professor to choose the right TV. Luckily, I am one.

Bosc Ulrich II
OTP Resident Historian

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 3477
Location: Sweetest lid in the league

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:58 am Post subject:

E.L.3000 wrote:

Wiser's whiskey. Cheap and effective.

How's that for a company slogan?

Not as good as "Gets the job done"
_________________
Bring back the old OTP!

RW
Distinguished Gentleman of the Post

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 387
Location: Seat 10, Row 8, Section 226B

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:51 pm Post subject:

Siamese Twins. Do they have jobs or are they just on the dole? If they work what jobs can they perform? Are there any porn star Siamese Twins? How do Siamese Twins manage masturbation? If they have two sets of genitalia do they please each other? What if they have only one set of genitalia? Do they kiss each other during the act? If one finds another willing sexual partner, how do they work out who gets to go first? What if one twin is gay and the other is hetero? I bet one partner has fucked it up for the other a lot of times. Enquiring minds want to know... _________________ "The greatest victory a man can win is victory over himself." Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi

Farang
Chaser, Wearer of Skirts

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 525

Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 2:10 am Post subject:

RW, you can hear the wheels a turnin'

Oz
Kangaroos and Didgeridoos

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 143

Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 2:31 am Post subject:

Yesterday I got a joke email very closely related The next time you're having a bad day imagine this: You're a Siamese Twin Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is Gay. You're not. He has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass.

E.L.3000
Big in Japan

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1783
Location: Fuck tha MTL police

Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 2:32 am Post subject:

RW wrote:

Siamese Twins. Do they have jobs or are they just on the dole? If they work what jobs can they perform? Are there any porn star Siamese Twins? How do Siamese Twins manage masturbation? If they have two sets of genitalia do they please each other? What if they have only one set of genitalia? Do they kiss each other during the act? If one finds another willing sexual partner, how do they work out who gets to go first? What if one twin is gay and the other is hetero? I bet one partner has fucked it up for the other a lot of times. Enquiring minds want to know...

Watch this movie.
_________________
It seems like you need to be a physics professor to choose the right TV. Luckily, I am one.

Hounsy
Reigning King of One-Liners

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 1488

Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:56 am Post subject:

So we all going to remember this the day Bigfoot became real? _________________ It's not you Sundin, it's me...please just leave...and don't look back....please please do not look back.

the New Cunning Linguist
Like a good neighbor, only better

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1962
Location: I'm here, aren't I?

Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:08 am Post subject:

Hounsy wrote:

So we all going to remember this the day Bigfoot became real?

I have him linked to the Leafs.

(e5)
_________________
... Because the old one, is well, old.

Hounsy
Reigning King of One-Liners

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 1488

Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:24 am Post subject:

and now with Wellwood gone the Bigfoot carcass will be the Leafs slowest skater. _________________ It's not you Sundin, it's me...please just leave...and don't look back....please please do not look back.

Av-merican
Un-Tenured Professor of Hockey

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 2322
Location: Denver

Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 12:21 pm Post subject:

Proof that there's a world record for anything you can think of: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26214026/?GT1=43001

shoe

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 62
Location: Base of Pikes Peak

Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:23 pm Post subject:

RW wrote:

Check out the most famous conjoined twins. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chang_and_Eng_Bunker
_________________
"The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools". Herbert Spenser, English Philosopher{1820-1903}

E.L.3000
Big in Japan

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1783
Location: Fuck tha MTL police

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:17 pm Post subject:

MOUSE!!!!!!!!!! There's a damn mouse in my house. A brazen little mother fucker. Why won't he step in the trap I laid out for him? The house is dead silent right now and I can hear him scurrying around. It's driving me crazy. I have work to do, but there's no way I'm putting on my headphones. He's waiting for me to tune out so he can gnaw the back of my neck off. I swear he keeps mimicking snapping noises so I think he's hit the trap, only when I get there the trap is as pristine as ever. _________________ It seems like you need to be a physics professor to choose the right TV. Luckily, I am one.

the New Cunning Linguist
Like a good neighbor, only better

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1962
Location: I'm here, aren't I?

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:31 pm Post subject:

E.L.3000 wrote:

MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

There's a damn mouse in my house. A brazen little mother fucker.

Why won't he step in the trap I laid out for him?

The house is dead silent right now and I can hear him scurrying around. It's driving me crazy.

I have work to do, but there's no way I'm putting on my headphones. He's waiting for me to tune out so he can gnaw the back of my neck off.

I swear he keeps mimicking snapping noises so I think he's hit the trap, only when I get there the trap is as pristine as ever.

Traps are a waste of time... Get yourself some poison bricks, find the crawlspaces / attic or anywhere else you think that he's scurrying around in and toss a couple of those bad boys around there...

If you can hear "one" of them, more often than not there's actually more than one (they follow each other's crap tracks like breadcrumbs), so poison works better in the long-run and is good insurance in case others find their way in later. The modern poisons act as a dessicant - they work by drying up the insides of the mouse until they die; because they're all dried up, there's no stink to them when they die inside your walls...

Look for dark black or brown droppings that look like grains of rice. If you find any (dark places likely around your stove or pantry), that's where they are going to be... Good hunting. Kill the fuckers. Kill them all.
_________________
... Because the old one, is well, old.

E.L.3000
Big in Japan

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1783
Location: Fuck tha MTL police

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:54 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the advice. The thing I have experience dealing with these little pieces of shit in the past, and this mouse seems to be an isolated incident. There are no crap trails, no evidence of my pantry being raided, and he's actually hiding in plain sight. I chased him around for a bit and instead of running for a corner or hole, he ran into my mom's tennis shoe. I can see it right now. I'm in the basement and he's just up the stairs. He's looking around, clearly he has no where in particular to go. I'd consider smashing him but that would be gross. This mouse's behavior suggests to me he doesn't have a nest. I think he must have come in from the garage and just got lost. I'll procure some poison bricks for future use, but it doesn't do me much good now. I can't concentrate with him running around in the other room. _________________ It seems like you need to be a physics professor to choose the right TV. Luckily, I am one.

Hounsy
Reigning King of One-Liners

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 1488

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:52 am Post subject:

Buddy of mine was getting tired of the traps not working until he put peanut butter in it, then it worked like a charm one time getting two at once. _________________ It's not you Sundin, it's me...please just leave...and don't look back....please please do not look back.

US679 Part Deux
An improvement over the US678 prototype

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 579
Location: Milton, Ontario

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:45 am Post subject:

Hounsy wrote:

Buddy of mine was getting tired of the traps not working until he put peanut butter in it, then it worked like a charm one time getting two at once.

I had a similar incident about 7 years ago and yes, I used peanut butter and it did work like a charm.

But I like TCL's idea, as it dries them up and they don't smell as opposed to taking the decapitated mice out of the traps. Mad

_________________

Hounsy
Reigning King of One-Liners

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 1488

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:40 am Post subject:

I was going to call you Hab fans pussies, but pussies are not afraid of a little mouse. _________________ It's not you Sundin, it's me...please just leave...and don't look back....please please do not look back.

E.L.3000
Big in Japan

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1783
Location: Fuck tha MTL police

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:30 am Post subject:

I used a German pickup line tonight for the first time. It ultimately didn't get more than a kiss but I'm proud of myself for trying. The line? "Das ist eine telefonummer?" She was at a table with German friends (male and female), and it got a big congratulatory laugh from everyone. Man alive she was a Bavarian beaut. Best tits I've ever seen on a skinny girl. _________________ It seems like you need to be a physics professor to choose the right TV. Luckily, I am one.

the New Cunning Linguist
Like a good neighbor, only better

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1962
Location: I'm here, aren't I?

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 8:31 am Post subject:

Mmmmmm... German girls... _________________ ... Because the old one, is well, old.

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