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Offthepost (Generation II)
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harmfuljays
King of Men
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1272
Location: Djibouti
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Hounsy
Reigning King of One-Liners
Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 1245
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 Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:36 am Post subject: |
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So much accuracy makes me uncomfortable.
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It's not you Sundin, it's me...please just leave...and don't look back....please please do not look back. |
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Jyrki21
Rebel Sell + Moneyball = Life
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1856
Location: Ottawa, ON
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:39 am Post subject: |
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This is hilarious, but is referring more to urban hipsters (and those who love 'em) and people from the usual hotbeds than white people as a whole.
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Hounsy
Reigning King of One-Liners
Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 1245
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:46 am Post subject: |
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capitalistic hippies is what I like to call them.
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It's not you Sundin, it's me...please just leave...and don't look back....please please do not look back. |
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Bosc Ulrich II
OTP Resident Historian
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 3222
Location: Sweetest lid in the league
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:47 am Post subject: |
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My favorite is the top 10 rap songs that white people love.
I remember someone saying why white people love Wayne Brady so much: He's like the whitest black dude on the planet.
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Bring back the old OTP!
Last edited by Bosc Ulrich II on Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:47 am; edited 1 time in total |
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harmfuljays
King of Men
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1272
Location: Djibouti
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:47 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
If you need to impress a white person, tell them you are from Baltimore. They will immediately ask you about The Wire and how accurate it is. You should confirm that it is “like a documentary of the streets,” the white person will then slowly shake their head and say “man” or “wow.” You will be seen in an entirely new light.
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Awesome!
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-UP THE IRONS! |
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harmfuljays
King of Men
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1272
Location: Djibouti
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:57 am Post subject: |
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This is me
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THREATENING TO MOVE TO CANADA
Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.
For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”
Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly similar to the one they live in now.
Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.
Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”
They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.
But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.
Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.
Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.
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-UP THE IRONS! |
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the New Cunning Linguist
Like a good neighbor, but not
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1666
Location: I'm here, aren't I?
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:58 am Post subject: |
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Lord help me, I'm turning into a white person...
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... Because the old one, is well, old.
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Jyrki21
Rebel Sell + Moneyball = Life
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1856
Location: Ottawa, ON
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:09 am Post subject: |
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So freaking true:
| The Blog wrote: |
#80 The Idea of Soccer
Many white people will tell you that they are very into soccer. But be careful, it’s a trap.
If you then attempt to engage them about your favorite soccer team or talk about famous moments in soccer history, you are likely to be met with blank stares. This is because white people don’t actually enjoy watching soccer, they just like telling their friends that they are into it.
In fact, the main reason white people like soccer is so they can buy a new scarf. As you may or may not know, many soccer teams issue special scarves, and white people cannot get enough of them!
Most white people choose a favorite soccer team based on either a study abroad experience or a particularly long vacation to Europe or South America. When they return, they like to tell their friends about how great “football” is and that they are committed to ‘getting more into’ now that they have returned home. |
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DH
Lloyd's Minster
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 370
Location: Alberta
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:04 am Post subject: |
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| the New Cunning Linguist wrote: |
| Lord help me, I'm turning into a white person... |
I believe that's referred to as a banana...  |
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shoe
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Base of Pikes Peak
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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One of the more interesting things about White people is that they love singing comedians.
This style of humor involves a person or group singing a song but rather than singing about something serious, it has funny lyrics. It’s not any more complicated than that, but white people can’t get enough of it. Weird Al Yankovich, Tenacious D, Sarah Silverman (sometimes), Flight of the Conchords, Dennis Leary, and Adam Sandler are all excellent examples of the genre.
It’s a pretty good idea because when you have jokes that aren’t that great and music that isn’t that great, you can mix them together and create something that will entertain white people.
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I love Weird Al. And yes, I'm very white.
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Winston Churchill said, "most people occasionally stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and continue on as if nothing had ever happened". |
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RW
Distinguished Gentleman of the Post
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 345
Location: Seat 10, Row 8, Section 226B
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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this is good stuff. I like the following #'s
1, 8, 12, 19, 23, 30, 34, 35, 42, 44, 46, 51, 54, 72, 75, 79, 81 and 84
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"The greatest victory a man can win is victory over himself."
Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi |
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Stinky
Woman of Color of the Post
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 866
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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as a woman of color I resent the implication that only white people act like asses when they get graduate degrees.
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The crowd once again showed its IQ level when it shouted ``U-S-A, U-S-A,'' during the fight. Their hero, Downie, is from Newmarket, Ont. |
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E.L.3000
Big in Japan
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1575
Location: MTL Police: stay out ma bizness
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:53 am Post subject: |
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Had to bump this, this site is amazing. No. 90 really hit home in an uncomfortable way.
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John McCain is fit as a fiddle… Is 71 the new 30?” - Fox News' Rich Lowry
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Hounsy
Reigning King of One-Liners
Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 1245
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 12:01 pm Post subject: |
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Most of the ones I am guilty of I have been dragged into by my wife.
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It's not you Sundin, it's me...please just leave...and don't look back....please please do not look back. |
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E.L.3000
Big in Japan
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1575
Location: MTL Police: stay out ma bizness
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:12 am Post subject: |
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http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/93-music-piracy/
Bump. This is the most personal entry yet. This is so me it's disturbing.
1. I always brag about my mp3 collection
2. I do make weekly mix CD's you don't want
3. I have rationalized that artists don't make money from CD sales
4. High-Fidelity is one of my favourite movies ever
5. Even worse than an iPod, I carry a Zune
6. It is important to me that people think I'm a music expert
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John McCain is fit as a fiddle… Is 71 the new 30?” - Fox News' Rich Lowry
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harmfuljays
King of Men
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 1272
Location: Djibouti
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:34 am Post subject: |
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oh that is funny! I run around sharing my 200 G collection with folks........I'd say I own 90% of it on CD. I never will carry around the original CD they are all burned.
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-UP THE IRONS! |
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skinnem
Poster Girl for OTP
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 258
Location: Toronto
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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This one applies to the day we had yesterday. At noon, the sun was out and it hit 14 degrees. By 2:00 in the afternoon it plunged to about 2 degrees. Last night it went down to -10 
It is a known fact that white people believe that they can bring spring early by wearing a pair of shorts on any day that is above seasonal temperatures. This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.
When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it’s best to say “I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.” They will likely give you a high five. |
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